What Works For Your Child With Special Needs, May Not Work For Mine

What Works For Your Child With Special Needs, May Not Work For Mine - charlenewrites.com - Charlenebullard.com - purposedrivencharlene.com
2 min read

Throughout Nate’s life, especially when he was younger, people would  give me their advice or resources.  Even now, as I blog, people offer me help and send me links to resources to help my child with challenges or difficulties, which I have expressed in a few blog posts.

I know people want to help. So let me say it now.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you very much for offering advice and resources.”

I truly appreciate all who want to help me by giving me information or suggestions that will benefit my son.  I know that people mean well as they believe that what they did for their child, will without a doubt, work for Nate.  So, once again, “Thank you.”

In the past, as I have shifted through all the messages and resources, I realized that some people don’t understand that all children with special needs are different. They are not the same. I even wrote a post title, All Children With Special Needs Are Not The Same.

For example, someone suggested that I allow my child to have acupuncture and another gave me information on brain therapy. These resources are great, but not for my child.

Sadly, people have become annoyed, and even mad, because I was not receptive to their advice. They think that I am denying their help or I am against trying new ways to help Nate, which is not true. I have taken advice from parents, professionals, and experts. Some I have tried and some have worked well. Yet, some have not because it wasn’t a right fit for my son.

These people don’t understand that just because a therapy, medication, and procedure worked for one child may not work for another. There is no cookie-cutter child with special needs, or a one size-fit-all therapy program.  All people are unique and require resources that will fit their needs.

So, please don’t think that I am ignoring your advice. I am not. I am just a parent who understands what works for one special needs child, may not work for another, because all children with special needs are different.


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  1. 1

    I can relate to this post. My nemesis has been the church. When I used to take Stephen to church some churches wanted to slather Stephen with Oil all in the name of “healing.” I have actually had Christians and I use that word loosely tell me that my brother Stephen was possessed!

    As though he were deficient in some way. Broken in need of repair. Now when Stephen visits me I never take him to church. Now I believe his Group Home might but not me. Too many people see disability in a negative light. I feel like God created Stephen with Autism. Stephen has a Purpose and he is doing better than most so-called normal people!

    As for unwanted and unsolicited advice of any kind I listen politely then go ahead and do what I was gonna do in the first place!

    • 2

      I read this post, but I must have gotten off sidetrack. Deborah, I had the same experience. Not holy water, but someone telling me in church that I needed to pray for Nate more. That something needed to be broken. I have to finish my post about that. I remember this pastor shouting from the pulpit saying that his son wasn’t suppose to be born with Autism, sitting in a corner, making the noise, and he commenced to making the noise. I was offended. I can go on and on about that one. I have to finish writing it. :(. I’m getting made as I type this comment, when I think about that situation.

      • 3

        I completely understand. You’d think pastors, minister and church leaders would be more compassionate or at least more informed. I think that they have more issues than the kids. Speaks volumes about them.

        • 4

          You would think. I have to chalk it up to the human heart. Religion or relationship with God isn’t an instant heart changer. People must want it, must strive to be compassionate and to inform themselves on being sensitive to others. We all must.

  2. 6

    I can’t even imagine what Nate would make of acupuncture. Good grief. Then there are all the dietary suggestions and special supplements. Heaven help you girl. Keep on doing what you know is right.

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