Understand This Fact – You Teach People How To Treat You

Understand This Fact - You Teach People How To Treat You - CharleneBullard.com - Faithtoraisenate.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com
2 min read

How do you want to be treated by others?
Good or Bad?
With or Without Respect?

Well, remember this FACT…

“You are the teacher, and you teach people how to treat you.”

After a conversation with a friend, she shared these words with me. “You teach people how to treat you.” Although I had heard it before, this time her comment stayed in my mind as I continued to meditate on it, and say to myself…..

“Charlene, you teach people how to treat you.”

Immediately my mind reverted to a relationship, where I realized that the way I was treated, was because I did not educate this man on how to treat me. I basically gave him a “free pass” that allowed him to disrespect me.

I did this by accepting his continuous breakups. His numerous “I don’t know what I want,” “I’m not sure,” “I love you, but I’m not ready”, “Let’s wait”, and “I don’t have any money” and more. I allowed him to lie, and then comeback more times than I can count, after his pitiful words of  “I’m sorry.”

Although, I never verbalized or told him it was acceptable, I indirectly showed him that he could hurt me, treat me bad, complain, blame me for his actions, not pray and read his bible with me, and decide to end it when he wanted. It was me, who said by my actions that “The horrible way you treat me, is all right,” when it actually wasn’t.

I understand now, that I basically modeled that this man’s behavior was acceptable, when I didn’t hold him accountable or up to the standards that God had for me.

And I am thankful that our relationship is over and God did not allow me to marry him. I am even more grateful for the hard and valuable lesson that I have learned, which is….

“If you want to be treated with respect, valued, and loved, WE must be adamant, clear, direct, and strong. We have to model what WE expect and NEVER settle for less. When WE do this, anyone that we encounter, will know how we expect to be treated.”

Faithtoraisenate.com - CharleneBullard.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com

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  1. 1

    Amen SiStar. I can empathize. I was in a relationship several years ago which eventually became abusive. I think that by nature we as Women want the relationship to work so we hang in there even when we should not. As the abuse and violence began to increase I prayed to God to make him leave. I just wanted him to go away. And on Thanksgiving Day 2007 that’s exactly what happened. He had found a younger woman which I suspected since he would take my car for days on end and I could not reach him. So the Flavor of the Month got her prize. (LOL!! I’m sure she soon found out that he was a booby prize!) That Thanksgiving Day I took my car keys from him and went to pick up my brother Stephen. Yes it hurt and I felt like a failure but in retrospect I’m glad that relationship ended because truthfully he would have surely killed or maimed me and I would have been another statistic. It took a long time because I felt I could trust another man. I’ve had dates but only one intimate relationship but as soon as I found out I was part of a harem I dropped him like he was a hot potato. Truthfully yes it would be great to be a partner in a supportive uplifting relationship. One that is positive and we have each other’s back but until that time comes I Celebrate My Singleness because since 2007 I’ve discovered latent gifts and talents within myself and made progress on building up me. Plus more time with Stephen. Stephen is more important than any outside relationship.

    I do have some funny stories to send you because sometimes you just gotta laugh to keep from crying! Love you Dearly,


    • 2

      Thank you Deborah for sharing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was so encouraging. I’m happy that you got out of that relationship too.

      I never knew that I could be sooooo happy being by myself. I have put more time and work into my relationship with God, my son’s needs and his move, writing, and especially my blog/website, that has become a blessing. All the connections that I have made and are making. My reading has increased, my tiredness and weariness has ended. I am truly happy. Sometimes when you get out of nonsense you see clearly that that person was not for you.

      Of course I would love marriage, but I refuse to settle for anything less than God’s best. And that man will definitely know how to treat me. NO more fakers.

      Yes, please share your funny story. I’m in need of laugher. 🙂

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