The Pain of Estrangement

The Pain of Estrangement
1 min read

A friend and I were sharing our hurt and pain of having a family member, that we were once close to, now be estranged from us.  We talked of our hurt of not speaking anymore: no phone calls, text messages, or emails.  All communication has been completely removed, sadly not by our choice.

We exchanged our many attempts to reconnect, by reaching out, making phone calls, texting hello, leaving happy birthday messages, sending holiday cards, and gifts.  Yet sadly, our gestures have been ignored and not reciprocated.

We discussed how we have looked introspectively at ourselves trying to find our part in the separation. We both reached out, trying to make amends.   We gave apologies, expressing our wrong, in whatever part we played. Yet, without even acknowledging our heartfelt confession, they continue to stay away.

Reconciliation seems so distant…and estrangement remains.

It brings us to tears.

Our hearts and eyes cry, as we pray for God to heal and reconnect.

We pray for soften hearts.

We pray for God to heal those wounds that our painful and sore.

And we trust God to heal us and one day reconnect us, to our estranged loved one.

Are you estranged from a loved one? If so, how do you handle being away from those you love?



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  1. 1

    Every situation is unique with it’s own underlying factors. Also you can’t force people to change their minds or opinions.
    In my case the estrangement came because I finally realized that I was being used and manipulated.
    My cousin is a crack head with three kids by three different men. When the kids were little I was taking care of the two youngest while her brother took care of the oldest boy. She abandoned and neglected her kids constantly. The City of New York took the kids away but she would scheme and get them back. Meanwhile I bought the kids gifts for all the holidays, paid school fees and sometimes paid her bills.
    Like a fool back in 2012 I let her and the two younger live with me. By this time the oldest son was in prison for attempted murder. The younger boy wound up in juvenile detention.
    Now during this time period I was called everything but a child of God.
    The final break came after my cousin accused my mom who passed away years ago of doing something to make my brother Stephen autistic.
    Other family members were in on this scandal.,slander & libel. They also threatened me and Stephen. Police reports were made. I evicted them. I moved and have not spoken to that branch for years. I don’t miss them and forgiveness is out of the question.
    I realized that they are sociopaths and narcissistic. They will never change.
    My Mom was a great Mother and Woman who doesn’t deserve to have her good name sullied.
    She along with our Dad raised us right. Stephen is a good honest hardworking contributing member of society.

  2. 3

    Because I spoke the truth, I was literally disinherited by my wealthy parents. Truth can cause an estrangement that only retracting it can repair. I never saw my parents for the last 25 years of their lives, but I no longer had the pain of covering up for them.

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