When People Don’t Want to Care for Your Child With Behavior Difficulties

Special needs - self-stemming - When People Don’t Want to Care for Your Child With Behavior Difficulties - charlenewrites.com - Charlenebullard.com - purposedrivencharlene.com
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Over the years, Nate has suffered from behavior problems. It has improved considerably since that time. Nate can have his moments, but it is infrequent. He does continue to have self-stimulatory behaviors, where he flaps his hands, and jumps up and down. Those are not aggressive, it is just what he does.

Some staff at Nate’s residential facility don’t understand. His self-stimming scare them. They feel that he is going to harm them in one of his flapping moments. So they have labeled Nate as difficult and a problem.  They don’t want to care for him, which has left me sad and crying.  It breaks my heart, when I see that some staff don’t want to interact with my child out of fear.

Nate is not the only one. I have seen their attitudes and irritation for other special needs residents, not wanting to work with them. They provide minimum care, just enough to make sure the residents have what they need.

I have tactfully addressed these issues of having people in a line of work, which requires compassion, understanding, patience and most importantly, love. I’m not sure my petitions for change have been heard.  So, I realize that all I can do is pray.

And God has surely provided.  Within the midst of those who lack compassion and care, there are a few workers, that have gravitated to Nate. They are not afraid of him. Instead, they have made a decision to know who he is as a person; learning his likes and dislikes and how to better communicate with him.  Their willingness to know him warms my heart.

And I trust and believe that God will bring more people to my child and other residents with special needs. He will bring people who have a heart like His, and will care for these residents with the love of God.

Faithtoraisenate.com - CharleneBullard.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com



Related Articles: Accepting My Child’s Self Stimulatory Behavior

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  1. 1

    Why do people go into a field where they know that the residents/consumers have certain types of behaviors? What did they expect? I don’t know the governing body where you live but in New York care for developmentally disabled citizens falls under the Governors office. The official agency is called OMRDD. Trust me I have called them on many occasions to voice my concerns. What if the good care givers go on vacation, get sick or move onto other jobs? I would report the problem to the highest governing body in your state. I know for my brother over the years I’ve become very tough. I’m know to be confrontational and demand answers. After all we are not talking about widgets but peoples lives. But then again I have an aggressive personality which is about getting things done. I demand accountability and don’t take No for an answer.

    • 2

      In Pa, things work differently. Agencies pick their own staff. I think that agencies are in such a rush to find “bodies” to fill a position that they are glossing over if people have a heart for the individuals that they are responsible for providing care. I’m smiling at your “aggressive personality” comment. I can be strong, but God really helped me to reserve my full-fledge Mama Bear anger. If so, they would have won and Nate would not be there. Instead, God allowed Him to move, which I am soooooo happy. 🙂

  2. 5

    Unfortunately, our society pays very little to people who care for dependent people, whether small children, the elderly, or the disabled. So sometimes the workers really do care because it is their nature, but sometimes they just needed a job and they don’t care. I am frequently grieved when I hear accounts such as yours. I pray with you for Nate to be seen and well cared for.

    • 6

      Thank you for your prayers. I hate to say it, society only become involved when there is a horrific tragedy, such as a resident dying. A while ago, in Phila, parents and social workers were arrested for causing the death of a special needs girl. It was sad, because the parents were abusing her and the social worker did not do her job. My heart is grieved. I pray for more hearts that want to do this job, not for money, but for the love of people. 🙂

      • 7

        At least here, social workers are overwhelmed with the needs of families and become unable to respond appropriately. Children die here, too. A member of our church has a job investigating each death, and the stories are heartbreaking.

  3. 8

    Sad that PA does not have an overseeing body like New York but even in New York there are still cases of abuse and neglect. I’m aggressive because I do not accept incompetence and trust me I’ve seen it. I also tend to tell people exactly what I think of them, their staff. etc.. Does not make me popular however they take me seriously because they know I will go to the next level. I’m not afraid to confront people. I’m not a patient person and I demand results. Of course at my age I really don’t care what people think or feel about me anyway.

    I recently wrote a blog post about the various demonstrations, rallies and marches I’ve attended. It’s my action personality. I have to be in the trenches working otherwise I feel like I’m wasting time. Not discounting prayer but I’m a Warrior. Believe it or not I used to be timid but the US Army, my parents deaths and being a Domestic Abuse Survivor ended that. I would say I’m very much an Old Testament Christian like my namesake in the Book of Judges.

  4. 9

    Hi Charlene – like some of the other commenters, I am dismayed that someone could even be hired to PROVIDE CARE who has so little understanding of the behaviors that Nate [and others] have! Would it be possible to appeal to a governing body for the proper training?! How would you feel about developing a workshop/seminar, yourself? I definitely wish the best for you and your son????.

    • 10

      Lesle, I’m sorry for the delay in commenting. I thought about that creating a sensitivity workshop for parents, professionals, etc. Who best could help and teach others about providing the best or right care. 🙂 Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. It truly has me thinking to be more intentional about starting that.

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