“I am a Mom”
Having a child with special needs that is incapable of mentally and verbally, expressing love and appreciation for their mother, can be difficult for some. Many children with intellectual disabilities or hearing impairments, have not learned or can’t say, “Mom.” My child has never called me, “Mom.”
Early on, when Nate was diagnosed with severe hearing loss, he never learned verbal communication. Hearing aides, speech and hearing therapy, simply did not help him to develop language skills.
When I was pregnant with Nate I dreamed and fantasized about the day, that he would verbally say, “Mom.”
I wanted him to say “Mommy”, dragging the “y” Mommyyyyyyyyyy!
Or say, “Mom, can you do this, or that for me?”
“Mom help me to do something.”
And most importantly, I longed to hear the sound or tone of my son saying,
“Mommy, I love you.”
Yet, he never expressed those feelings to me with words. And I will be honest, it was a disappointment. I hurt.
I hurt because hearing my child call me “Mom,” would solidify, that the mother of a child. It would say that I was Nate’s mother.
And as the early years moved on, and I understood that Nate was not going to say “Mom,” I accepted it. Yet, there was still pain within me.
Then as time went by, I realized that Nate, not saying Mom, doesn’t exempt me from being a mother. I am just as much of a mother than those mothers that have children that communicate verbally and call them, “Mom.”
What makes me a mother, is not being called Mom, or even that I gave birth to my son. Those things don’t make anyone a mother.
What makes me a mother to Nate is that I have a heart, that exudes love for him. This love cause me to provide his every needs. It makes me care for him, think about him, advocate for him, and want the very best for him.
That is what makes me a mother, the love and compassion that I have in my heart for my child. That alone, indeed makes me a mother.