I am afraid!
Because, I find it difficult to share my story.
If I do, I will have to conjure my memories. My awful memories, that have been deeply stored……pushed far away inside my soul.
I will have to bring them back to utter the words “me too.”
I am afraid that sharing intimate details of that day will bring comments and questions from many. Such as, the rude comments I have heard from people who are watching the horrible deeds of men of power, finally come out of the dark…….. exposed by the light.
People and onlookers say…..
“Why didn’t the women speak up?”
“Why didn’t the women tell someone?”
“It was a long time ago?”
“What was she wearing?”
“Why was she alone with him?”
“Are you sure it was rape?”
“He didn’t do it!”
And the one that I consider the worst of them all…
“I don’t believe them, they are lying.”
“I don’t believe YOU. YOU are lying.”
I don’t believe….as if I am creating a story or fabricating a lie, to seek attention or sympathy from the world. I would not do such a thing.
So, I share my hashtag “me too” to say. I am a victim of someone who used force to take from me what I told him he could not have.
Although it occurred over twenty-five years ago, and the fear of others and their comments, like the ones above, has stopped me from speaking……….It doesn’t negate the fact that, it happened to me.
It happened to me.
I am one of the many that are typing…..#metoo.